Published Tuesday, September 09, 2008 5:16 PM
Updated Tuesday, September 09, 2008 5:19 PM
I’ve been dying here for the last few weeks.
The Braves tanked.
If I heard one more sugary-sweet story about overcoming hardship and adversity to triumph in the Olympics I was afraid I’d slip into a diabetic coma.
I still can’t find the NASCAR races on TV.
I lost them after Fox handed off to TNT and by the time I finally found TNT on cable they handed the races off to ESPN.
Now we get into what real sports is all about.
College football.
I have experienced college football from Cincinnati and Columbus, Ohio, to South Bend, Indiana, to Atlanta and on to Athens, Georgia.
I love my Irish and Big Ten football, but I have to admit, nobody does college football like the South, specifically the SEC.
I don’t care who you are, though, if you don’t get misty eyed at the spelling of Script Ohio at the Shoe in front of 100,000-plus thousand people before the Ohio State – Michigan game then my friend, you simply don’t have a heart.
If you can’t quote the movie Rudy and say, “This is the most beautiful sight these eyes have beheld,” while walking into Notre Dame Stadium on a crisp October afternoon, the clear autumn sky as blue as a robin’s egg rinsed clean by an early morning snow, then you have no soul.
And if you didn’t puddle up when UGA VI was laid to rest this summer and get another little jolt of a sob crawling up the back of your throat when they introduced Loren’s Best, UGA VII this past weekend, then you simply aren’t human.
If you don’t get chills when you hear “War Eagle!” or “Roll Tide!”…
Well, you get my point.
You’re an automaton.
More about football.
TiVo and Direct TV are marketing football packages that will allow you to watch a complete college football game replayed in just 30 minutes. No, you’re not going to see a game run at high speed like soccer moms at Publix hyped up on some really good Starbucks whole caffe latte frappucinos with a shot of espresso. You are going to see all the action that takes place in a football game.
Every play.
You just won’t see anything else. No touchdown dances. No endless babbling from Tony Kornheiser. No huddles.No “He…could…go…all…the…way” from Chris Berman.
You will see just the action and nothing but the action, and it all happens in under 30 minutes.
Hard to believe, isn’t it?
And how long to football broadcasts take? Three hours? Maybe four?
I took a stopwatch to an NFL game last fall to see just how much “real action” there was in a four-hour Sunday afternoon broadcast.
I clicked on the stopwatch after the quarterback finished his hut, hut-huts and stopped the clock when the referee blew the play dead.
I did not count the post run or post catch dance, the post tackle dance, the post play dance by the offensive coordinator for calling the play, or the slow walk back to huddle, the huddle, or anything said by Chris Berman.
I clicked off my watch at the final gun and had a time of 26:34.
That’s 26 minutes and 34 seconds for you chronologically challenged types.
Amazing.
Enough action to fill up an episode of Happy Days and it warrants almost four hours of Sunday morning, afternoon and evening analysis.
Even more football stuff.
Friday night at the Berkeley – Dutch Fork game I don’t think I ever saw a team look so bad and then look so good during the same game. From the opening kickoff to start the second half to the 6:16 mark in the third quarter, the Stags looked abysmal. They coughed up the football three times, got caught with their pants down on an onside kick, gave up three touchdowns in under six minutes and saw a 20-7 comfortable lead evaporate into a 34-27 deficit like “snap!” that.
In the game’s final three minutes you would have thought the Stags had been possessed by the ghosts of Berkeley greats who had gone on before them, this being the 50th Anniversary of football being played at Bonner Stadium-Moody Field and all.
After a failed two-point conversion left the Stags down 34-33 with precious little time left on the clock, they somehow managed to stuff a Silver Foxes offense they hadn’t been able to stop all night on three-and-out, and in just 47 seconds no less, and then after the ensuing 46-yard punt, marched 65 yards in just over a minute and a half to score the winning touchdown.
Oh yeah, and whenever Berkeley scores, they play their fight song.
Which coincidentally is Notre Dame’s fight song.
That was the most beautiful sound these ears have ever beheld.
Almost had visions of Saint Ara and Saint Knute haunting the sidelines, and Joe Montana setting up in the pocket and looking for Tim Brown gone deep.
I’m gonna love covering this team.